Music, art, literature, and nature…

Forbidden Love (tentative title)

This is not yet edited… woah… I’m just so lazy… My title is just so lame but I can’t think of anything at that time… I actually made this at the office… >.<


I grew up knowing I was an adopted child but when I started attending the boarding school my adopted parents own, I was surprised to find out that the child they said was dead was actually me… Since then my life became so complicated. I don’t understand my parents. Why would they keep me hidden from the world? Telling everyone I was adopted but actually I am not.

It’s been a year now since I’ve known the truth. However, I did not tell my parents that I already know. I am still hoping that someday they will be the one to tell everyone about it. My father is the first born of their family but my grandfather favored my uncle since he has a son. Maybe that’s the reason why I was kept by my parents. Maybe they are ashamed that I am a girl, not worthy of our family’s wealth. That is really unfair, but I guess that’s better. I do not have to please my grandfather every time. They will not bother me… as long as I follow them… actually as long as they see me following them.

My mother is very kind as well as my father. Although my relatives told me that I was adopted since I can remember, my parents always treat me as their real daughter. I am their real daughter, maybe that’s why…

I am here now… in this big castle in the countryside. This is where my grandparents and my uncle and his family go during vacation. We are going to spend summer here. The first time I was here was when I was about 3 years old, the time when my relatives keep pestering me about being adopted. I hate being here; I always have to be quiet and obedient… well maybe I can do that when I was three but now it’s different. My mother keeps telling me to stay quiet so my relatives will not notice me… yeah I can do that. It’s just a piece of cake.

Climbing these stairs is just pain in the ass… this is my true personality. I am an obedient child just to my parents though. But to my relatives, I just follow them so they will not bother me, but if I can, of course I do not care about them. Who are they anyway?

I’ll be staying at the room beside my cousin… another pain in the ass… I actually consider him as a disaster… meeting him again makes me vomit. Who would want to be close to that kind of person? A crazy person I guess, but definitely not me…


I’ve always lived obeying what my parents want me to do. If they want me to have good grades, then I should have good grades. If they tell me to be on top of the others, then I should be like that. I always think that maybe being free will give me happiness because being in a cage for so long is very lonely.

When I was a child, I though being complimented by a lot of people will satisfy me. I guess that is true especially when you are a child. Being the center of attention in our family, being the favorite of my grandfather, and being loved by so many people are the things that made me happy… before… before being rejected by one person. I really can’t believe it. My first year in high school was a disaster because of that person. I just hate her… but I also envy her… and I like her so much…

Seeing that very same girl in our vacation house is just too good to be a coincidence. Maybe this is just fate…

Damn… now you’re telling me that the girl who has occupied my mind the whole year of my first year in high school is my cousin. You are kidding me right? My cousin whom I teased for a long time when we were kids… the girl whom I always make fun… the girl who always cry because of me… the girl who I like… is my cousin.

Is this a punishment for being cruel to her before? I want to get out of my prison… but why am I entering another prison? But the truth is… I do not care anymore…


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